Yesterday morning my alarm went off at 5:00 am ... I had sh*t to do and I was ready! I bounced out of bed and mentally ran down a list of everything I wanted to tackle before I took my kids to school ... Ready, set, go!!! Then, my husband 'matter-of-factly' says: "I think the wifi is down, my phone won't connect."
>> NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! <<
Trying to remain calm (and this is all happening pre-coffee btw) I go downstairs and try to access the internet from my computer ... nothing. I then go and 'jiggle' all of the things that Comcast set up for us ... check again ... nothing. Then a feeling of dread comes over me: I am being forced to call Comcast and talk to their f*cking lady robot voice. Fast forward to many attempts to get to the correct 'real person' through Comcast and finally talking to a human I've been told that this is a bigger problem and that I will be without internet access for the rest of the day. Then something happens that doesn't typically happen for me: I Hulk out ... I turned from a normally annoyed person to a raging lunatic. Soft, fluffy, purring kittens are my enemy - the wall next to me is too close - the water that spilled on the floor by accident makes me scream profanities ... I lost it.
Here's the thing: had this been a situation where I worked for someone and that person called me before work and said: our wifi is down today so don't worry about coming in - take the day off - I would have been so happy! But as a business owner who just had her entire day re-planned for her it was the end of the world for me.
I posted something on FB for therapy and then continued on with the morning which felt so empty. Then, as I was heading into the school to drop my kids off I got a 'ping' on my phone ... someone had commented on my FB rant about 'not having the internet today and what should I do?' ... the commenter said: LIVE!!!!!!!!! Live. Live?? Oh, yeah ... enjoy life, live, take this opportunity of a 'forced day off' and just be. LIVE. In that moment I felt so guilty and sad and freed all at the same time.
Here's the thing and I don't feel like it needs to be a secret: The Editor's Touch pays my bills. It supports my family. The income isn't 'fun money' it's 'life necessities money' and my family needs it or we don't keep our house. Because of all ^^ that stuff I feel a tremendous amount of pressure each day to BE AWESOME and do what I do well. I bust ass to stay current and important to the people I want to hire me. I say this a lot on here: I am constantly trying to be better than my last great idea. I am my own competition. And when I couldn't do that yesterday it hit me hard in a way I wasn't ready for.
We, as business owners, do need to remember to live, as that commenter said. While it's hard when you are dependent on yourself to make money we can't lose our sh*t over something like the wifi being down. Heather, we???? Ok, fine, me. I need to pull it together and realize that things happen and when they do it will be fine. Clients will deal with it. I will deal with it. It will be ok.