Talking About Your Sh*tty Luck With Clients And Other Professionals Hurts More Than Just Your Reputation
I read an amazing article yesterday that was the essence of everything I believe in:
^^ definitely worth a read. I am a person who very rarely lets myself 'go to that sh*tty place' of feeling down in the dumps ... in fact, I will almost do anything else to avoid focusing on the bad stuff that is happening to me. No, I'm not talking about getting wasted to avoid my troubles ... I'm talking about:
NOT FOCUSING ON THE NEGATIVE SH*T IN LIFE
As that article talks about so vividly, the more you focus on negative in life - the more negative energy will be attracted to you. I believe that 100%. Ever notice how the worse you feel the more bad things keep happening? And then you say stuff like:
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!!???
You! You are why. This article got me thinking about how this applies to us as business owners. Do you know that other professional out there who is a constant case of:
WOE IS ME!!!
Anytime they are around they have some new sob story you have to hear about ... and it lasts way too long ... and at the end of being forced to hear it all you feel drained of your will to live?? Gosh, can you image how they must feel?? Ick ... Anyway, we all know 'that person' who comes to the networking meetings ... we all try to just avoid eye-contact so we don't get sucked in or trapped ... Look, the first few times we were troopers! We hung out with 'said person' and really cared ... we listened intently and we gave advice and we let them cry on our shoulder ... but after time #2 we basically realized that this person is simply a:
^^ sorry, not sorry. Look, my point is this: Don't talk about your life problems with clients or other professionals ... it will RUIN YOU!!!! Nobody wants to work with a whining mess ... I take it as a HUGE red flag when someone just goes on and on and on and on about their sh*tty luck. I want to shake them and say all the things in that top article I shared ... I want to say: STOP IT!!!! You are the reason you are in this mess!!! But that's not acceptable ... so instead, I refuse those people as clients. I refuse them as friends ... because why???
I DON'T WANT TO BE DRAGGED INTO THEIR DRAMA
... and guess what: paying clients don't either. I think some people really believe that the more you talk about your 'bad luck' the more people will feel bonded with you ... not true. Not true at all. If someone hasn't crossed into the 'true friend zone' with me I don't want to hear about it. Here is the different IMO of acceptable vs unacceptable chatter when you are living in negative town:
WHEN ASKED: HOW IS IT GOING WITH YOU?
- Pretty good! I caught Pneumonia, but got some meds so things are looking up!
- Funny you ask, my car got broken into this morning, but luckily my insurance will cover it all!
- I'm ok ... My boyfriend and I broke up, but sometimes things like that are for the best ... so I am trying to focus on the positive.
GOING TOO FAR
- Awful. I have Pneumonia and last week my laptop got infected by a virus ... I just feel like no matter what I do I can't catch a break!
- Not good at all. My car was broken into for the 3rd time this year and everything I love was stolen. I just feel to so defeated!
- UGH! Awful. My boyfriend cheated on me and I caught him in the act! I dumped him and it's holiday season so I am just so depressed and feel so alone.
... I think you get my point. But, I will reiterate it here in case you didn't: we are all human and sh*t happens to us. If you get asked 'how things are' and you are truly feeling defeated it's ok to 'mention it' .... mention it so people can understand that if you aren't on your A game that day they get where you are coming from ... but keep it:
SHORT, SIMPLE, AND ADD A POSITIVE SPIN AT THE END
If you spin it with positive then people don't feel uncomfy around you ... if you show that you have high hopes then they feel that they can talk about their wedding or their excitement ... but if you leave your clients down in the dumps the only thing they will want to do is run far far far away from you. And try VERY HARD not to dump your sh*t on other professionals at networking events or while working at a wedding together ... unless you are 100% sure that you and that professional are FRIENDS ... like REAL FRIENDS who hang out and talk about life and don't have boundaries and don't judge each other ... if you have ANY DOUBT that you have entered the 'friend zone' with that professional then keep your sh*t far away from the conversation.