Dear Mercury Retrograde: F*ck You, You F*cking F*ck!!!!

Mercury Retrograde | How Business is Affected | The Editor's Touch.jpg

Are things sh*tty for you right now?  They are for me.  Things just keep happening or falling apart or I decide that I hate all things and all people.  I have been like: WTF??  What is going on!!!  And then I find out:  Oh, Mercury is in retrograde and it started at the end of April.  NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!

I can't connect correctly or write a good blog post to save my own life right now ... and until I realized that Mercury Retrograde is to blame I was feeling really down!  I was like: Heather, get your sh*t together!!  Where are you right now????  Where is your spunk??  Where is your drive??  Looks like I will have to ride this out until June 7th - because that is how long this f*cked up ride will last!  Yayayayayayay!!  Do you know about this?  Here is the definition by Urban Dictionary:

A three week period in which the planet Mercury to appears to be in backwards motion. 

during this time human beings experience many adverse effects, such as memory loss, loss of time, loss of items, loss of virginity, loss of common sense. As for technology many unexpected glitches occur during this time, such as software crashes and emails getting lost

Pretty cool, eh???  When I first heard about this a year or two ago I was like: no way ... but then whenever sh*tty things started happening non-stop and I had no idea why my friend (who always knows when Mercury spins backwards) would tell me: hey, it's because Mercury is in retrograde ... never fails!  I am a true believe that this is a thing .. and it sucks.  Here are the top 10 things that they say you should NEVER do during this time:

  1. Don't negotiate contracts or agreements
  2. Don't get or start a new job
  3. Don't close any sales
  4. Don't start new projects
  5. Don't schedule meetings
  6. Avoid excessive travel
  7. Don't purchase new computers
  8. Don't repair your car
  9. Don't buy things
  10. Don't move in with someone new or get a new roommate

^^ Are you kidding me!!???  Ok, no problem!  I, as a business owner, will just put life on hold ... srsly??  While I am acutely aware of how crappy life feels right now it still must go on - especially being a business owner.  Can June 7th please just come!!??  QUICKLY!!!  

XO~ Heather