Saying What People Expect To Hear ... Not For Me. I'd Rather Say The Thing People Don't Want To Say, But Are Constantly Thinking.
A post I wrote and published last night was rapidly shared on Facebook ... over 70 times in under just a few hours. The title was:
>> Oh, You Want To Talk To Me On The Phone About Business And Possibly Hiring Me? Excuse My While My Child Acts Like An Asshole <<
I wrote the post during my own anxiety so that the feelings I was feeling could be real. I write during my own experiences while being a business owner because being a business owner SUCKS SOMETIMES!! It's also AWESOME SOMETIMES!! I wouldn't want to do anything else. However, this particular title and article was very direct ... and the directness was aimed at something called a child. And as we all know, this is a touchy subject with some.
Was I calling my child AN ASSHOLE?? I really don't think so. I believe that there is a difference between saying someone is acting like something and saying that they are. But, you know what?? Maybe I did call my son an asshole ... it's truly possible. Maybe on paper, in a post he can't read, during a healthy adult outburst I did ... so what now??
I woke up to a comment on my FB page for The Editor's Touch that read:
"Ahhhhhhh I have more control on my kids then you? I find this post really offensive and I'll be removing myself from this page - my kids are 10.5 months apart and I run a successful photography business. Yes - life happens - but sometimes you just can't have it all. So if referring to your child as an 'asshole' and is a thing now - it's not my thing. My kids have always come first - it's about prioritising and what comes first is my kids - business second. Just because you have a business doesn't mean you're open 24/7 - set some boundaries and expectations - as with anything - business or kids a consistency is the key."
This comment is fair and I'm sure half of the 70+ shares out there in FB land are people bashing me ... people saying: this bitch needs to get her sh*t together and stop blaming her kids for her problems as a business owner. I think it's sad in this day and age that parents aren't allowed to feel free to have normal feelings ... that it's offensive to say something like: my kid is behaving like a f*cking asshole right now ... that if you say something like that you are labeled as a horrible parent.
If we are real about the fact that being a parent while having your own life at the same time is hard then we can be healthier! If we can say: wow, I really love my kid but man I wish he'd stop being such a jerk sometimes ... why is that wrong?? I honestly have no idea.
For those of you wondering if I love my kids?? Yes, very much. They are why I work so hard ... I want them to have the things they need and some of the things they want. I want them to grow up watching the female figure in their lives work her ass off and show them that anything is possible in life - that you can make sh*t happen! And I believe that being honest and being realistic about the ups and downs of parenting is one of the reasons I still have a big part of ME inside ... that I haven't lost myself to being 'just a mom' ... and I love it.