How To Grow A Thick Skin + Why It's Important In Business
A little over a year ago I shared a post on this blog called '25 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me' ... and today I'm going to discuss #6 a little bit and also dive into why:
It's Important To Have a Thick Skin in Business
I was never the 'popular girl' growing up ... and it wasn't because I'm not a fun girl, I truly believe now looking back that I sabotaged it a little bit because I wasn't interested in what that crowd was into ... I have always enjoyed my 'alone time' ... during my high school years you'd most likely find me creating some type of art project in my room or writing in my journal with the music on ... I really cherish one on one time with my friends or at most, a group of 3 or 4 ... anything beyond that can get a little uncomfy for me and I have to work really hard at not putting on a resting bitch face. I think it's that with groups it's usually more small talk than REAL conversations ... and small talk to me is the WORST kind of torture. Over the years I have perfected the 'let's pretend we are a social butterfly' at parties ... but my happiest place would be:
Cuddling in Bed With My Husband and Binge Watching Netflix
That's just me naturally ... I love to be at home ... I also love my 'creative time' where I sit at the computer and dream up website design ideas or blog here on The Editor's Touch ... now with all this comes a girl who is pretty sensitive .. which brings me to the point of this blog post.
If you work in any type of industry my guess is it can get pretty rough and feel lonely at times ... it's a lot like high school in a way ... there are the 'popular business owner' crowds who can be known to form cliques ... BONUS POST:
And all in all this industry (wedding and event creatives) is all about not only one upping the competition and standing out, but also one upping yourself and continuing to up the ante each time you go out and show off your stuff.
That Act Makes You Very Vulnerable To Feeling Bad About Yourself
At least 3-4 times per year I have what I call an adult melt down ... a pity party ... a time for me to unload all the stress that has been building up for 3-4 months and I basically decide in that moment that:
I SUCK AT ALL THINGS THAT I DO AND I SHOULD QUIT
During this time I rely on my business owner friends to help build me back up ... and this is a GIVE AND TAKE favor ... because when my business owner friends or my clients are having their own 'I SUCK AT ALL THINGS' pity party ... I'm right there to help them through it.
One of the things I have learned by going through these fun little 'times' as a business owner is that I have built up my own 'voice' to myself and a thick skin is growing. My self talk is getting stronger and clearer and I've gotten a lot better at:
NOT LETTING OTHER PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME
I wrote a post a while back called: You've Received Money For Your Services ... Now Dance, Monkey, Dance!! The message in this post is all about remembering that even though you are being paid by someone, it's still not ok for them to treat you badly and take advantage of you. You'll find a link to that BONUS POST below:
It's important to remember that it is literally impossible to make every single person or client you work with happy ... you are dealing with people and people can be very unreasonable ... personalities aren't always going to work well together and clashing is inevitable if you are planning to have a career where you continue to work with people. I have pissed off MANY PEOPLE ... yeah, I'm admitting it ... things don't always go well ... life happens, people get angry, people get impatient, I drop the ball, I'm feeling creatively off, communications get wired poorly ... I'm not perfect and I never claimed to be. What I am very good at is:
DESIGNING WEBSITES THAT CREATE SUCCESS FOR MY CLIENTS
Yeah, I'm saying it: I'm good at what I do ... how often do YOU (yes, I'm talking to you) sit and tell yourself that you are damn good and what you do?? If you haven't said it to yourself in the last week then please take some time RIGHT NOW to say it:
I AM DAMN GOOD AT WHAT I DO!!!!!!!
Now, more importantly: do you believe yourself?? If you don't, then perhaps you need to polish up a few things so you ARE and so you do BELIEVE yourself when you say it. I wrote a post a little over a year ago during one of the sh*ttiest weeks I've had as a business owner ... and if my sh*t can help you then I've done my job as a REAL blogger ... that BONUS POST is below:
I've never been one to pretend I'm something that I'm not ... to sit and sugarcoat what being a business owner is like ... to never admit my own mistakes ... to only blog about the awesomeness of everything that is awesome in my life ... it's not real life! Sh*t happens to all of us ... but back to the point of this post:
YOU HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING YOURSELF OF THAT IT'S TEMPORARY
If you tell yourself that you are the only one who is sucking in that particular moment then you'll fall into the blackhole of pity and once you fall FALL FALL down ... it will be super hard to pick yourself back up. We need to start:
BELIEVING MORE AND DOUBTING LESS
I wrote a blog post a little over a year ago called Do You Believe That You Deserve It? It's a post about positive self talk as a business owner and it's definitely worth a read at some point if you haven't already.
Look, even the most put together business owners have times of self-doubt and worry ... the climate of the world right now certainly doesn't help the 'overall attitude' of the human race as a group and it's easy to get wrapped up in feeling the weight of it all.
Attitudes are contagious
... they affect how we treat other people, they affect our willingness to put ourselves 'out there', and they can make worry grow ... all of which can be very suffocating :(
Focusing on the times you were celebrated and the great things you have achieved can help you climb out of a rut ... I wrote a post about getting your business laid which I have linked below ...
... welp, I think my time here on the blog is done for the day ... I have websites to design and a family to be with ... I'm not sure I even reached my point of this post ... hahahaha ... but hopefully I said something useful and helpful ;)
Have an amazing weekend!