A Cold Seattle Day + The Thoughts of This Business Owner


I'm going to be honest ... this post isn't meant to make me look super awesome, or smart, or like I have my sh*t together ... in fact, this post will almost certainly make me look like I never have my sh*t together.


I don't know if you read or remember this blog post I wrote about handling clients who become abusive << it's there if you are curious ... the moral to that story is that the client I was discussing ended up doing a chargeback on New Year's Day (yeah, I started my year with a chargeback right when I woke up at 8:00 am), I disputed it because 95% of the work had been done, and today I got word that the credit card company found in their favor.


Here's my issue.  Ok, so I lose the money for the hours and hours I put into working on their material and website ... they get their money back ... and they KEEP THE WEBSITE and ALL THE OPTIMIZED IMAGES I UPLOADED??


The bones and structure of everything I built is up still ... the extra galleries I optimized and resized and uploaded at zero charge to my client are up and working for them ... so, they get their money back AND they keep all the work I completed??


Ok, so that bullsh*t aside, being a business owner who is also a mom feels IMPOSSIBLE ... I am either letting my clients down or letting my family down or (as luck would have it most days) both happen ... I get over 100 emails a day that I can't possibly answer and then people get mad at me because I can't answer 100 emails per day and also design their websites.

I was on a call today with a potential client and my heart dropped when she told me that she's heard I have a slow turnaround time << remember, at the beginning of this post I warned you that this post will not make me look like I have my sh*t together!!  Worst part???  She's heard it from my clients.  DOUBLE UGH.  And guess what?


I don't know about you, but it's literally impossible for me to answer emails all day and design websites for people all day.  At one point or another I'm going to piss off one, five, or ten people at once ... I'm going to fail.  I also can't run around explaining why things happened that way ... I don't have a voice when people are complaining about me if I'm not there .... why I didn't get everything completed on time and that 'the client' was a factor in that equation!  That I wasn't just all by myself sucking because I wanted to ...

My five year old Hadley likes to say something during the lowest of the low points in her life or when she knows someone else is sad:


It's so honest and simple ... it's owning that you have the power to change the mess you're in.  It's realizing that playing the victim and whining and crying isn't an answer ... and while those things are certainly necessary in life to move forward, they aren't helpful in finding a solution.

I wanted to cover myself in a universal blanket of 'I SUCK' and hide under it for the rest of the day ... but I'm not going to do that.  Will I be able to answer every email that comes into my inbox right away?  No, I won't ... will I always be able to launch websites during the timing that I say I will?  Nope.  But one thing is for sure, I won't let this sh*t stop me from continuing to try ... try being a great mom, a great wife, a great website designer ... 

Thank you to the other business owners who I spoke to today that get it ... that know how hard running a business is and how each day it takes courage to face it all and do it anyway!  I love each and every one of you.  And for those of you who feel like a failure or who feel like you're taking 8 steps forward and 12 steps back, I hope me owning up to my sh*t on this blog where anyone can read it and possibly judge me helps you feel like you're not alone ... for the most part I feel like we all do the best we can ... and I'm ending this post to continue to do just that!

XO~ Heather